[	mood	|	amused	]
[	music	|	johnny knoxville	]

i just found some really funny quotes some of them are:

1. Life is like a fart; you never know how long it's going to last or how bad its gonna stink
2. There's a fine line between courage and stupidity... Jhonny Knoxville
3. I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next." They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
4. You were in a band called Electric Sheep. Electric Sheep? Dude, what exactly were you thinking at that time? "In a world of bands called Limp Bizkit and Hoobastank, Electric Sheep rolls off the tongue like a Shakespearean love sonnet. Leave me alone."Tom Morello
5. INCEST: A game the whole family can play.
6. The most common form of marriage proposal: "YOU'RE WHAT!?"
7. Ignore alien orders.    <------- this ones not to funny... if you believe in aliens
8. I hope this song touches you like your father does! -Tom Delonge, Blink 182   <----------job
9. A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today. The results blacked out 1400 homes and, of course, one raccoon.
10. Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2. Advising the President.
3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. David Letterman
11. If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth.
12. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
13. Mary had a little sheep,
    And in her bed it would sleep.
    Story turns out, it was a ram,
    So now Mary has a little lamb.
14. Roll, roll, roll your joint.
    Twist it in the end,
    Light it up and take a puff
    Then pass it to a friend!
15. If you have sex with your clone, are you gay or are you masturbating?
16. The best diet in the world is scratching your ass and smelling your fingers
17. Old mother Hubberd went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone, but when she bent over, rover took over and gave her a bone of his own
18. I tried to see things from your point of view, but I couldn’t put my head that far up my ass.
19. The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. And then you die. What's that? A bonus? I think the life-cycle is all backwards. You should die first and get it all over with. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol and party. You get ready for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating... Then, you finish off as an orgasm. I like it.
20. If you think sex is a pain in the ass, try different position.

The greatest lies of all time:

1. I love you
2. This won't hurt a bit
3. The cheque's in the mail
4. I was just going to call you
5. I swear I won't come in your mouth
6. Of course I'll respect you in the morning
7. We have a really challenging assignment for you
8. I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you

theres a million other ones, theres about 40 pages of them. i'll post some more as i go.

( this is one of those sad thingys that i just happened to read... )

[

mood

|

giggly

]

<img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y168/eat_sleep_blink/user%20pictures%20and%20banners/don.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><img src="http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y168/eat_sleep_blink/user%20pictures%20and%20banners/den.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

lmao

[	mood	|	annoyed	]
[	music	|	back-up beep-beep truck lol	]

guys, i really want a new livejournal. if you have any good suggestions please post them. so far i have:

• _good_buddy_marilyn_(which is good, but to long)
• ____saar
• _______182

but i want some word then 182. so if anyone comes up with something witty, post a comment.

im thinking jacknsally182......

[	mood	|	amused	]
[	music	|	iris - the goo goo dolls	]

i found this amusing... and on someone's livejournal:

fuck ( P ) Pronunciation Key (fk) Vulgar Slang
v. fucked, fuck·ing, fucks
v. tr.
To have sexual intercourse with.
To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize.
Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.

v. intr.
To engage in sexual intercourse.
To act wastefully or foolishly.
To interfere; meddle. Often used with with.

n.
An act of sexual intercourse.
A partner in sexual intercourse.
A despised person.
Used as an intensive: What the fuck did you do that for?

interj.
Used to express extreme displeasure.

Phrasal Verbs:
fuck off
Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal.
To spend time idly.
To masturbate.
fuck over
To treat unfairly; take advantage of.
fuck up
To make a mistake; bungle something.
To act carelessly, foolishly, or incorrectly.
To cause to be intoxicated.

funny shit that is.

[	mood	|	creative	]
[	music	|	Longview - Green Day	]

i re-did the colors of my layout and i really like it. i want another livejournal, this one is gettin a little old. if anybody has any suggestions, let me know..... wav, you still owe me a bag of not fat-free cheese puffs, so we can become not so skinny together lol. just. anyway, if you couldnt already tell, im bored out of my fucking mind. but, i down loaded this program called 'comet cursor', and you can get really gnarly cursors, like all of kiss(the band), sid vicious, joey ramone, the beatles, bon jovi, 2 of our good buddy marilyn, and a certain verb with a certain number at the end... no, not sum 41(although that would be awesome too), its none other than: the blink 182 lmao. right now tom is floating around on my desktop lol. AND besides mark, tom, and trav yo, janine can be your cursor as well lol.